Sheep Go To Heaven – Goats Go to Hell

Lately, it seems like somebody is getting killed and burned beyond recognition about every other day on the highways around Harrisburg. Now that I ride my bike all over the place, I have learned all the back roads. So, even when I’m in the car, I avoid the interstates.

Good thing, too.
Imagine this: You’re cruising down the Pennsylvania Turnpike at about 85mph (which seems to be the average speed of traffic), when suddenly you’re staring down a herd of 90 goats in the middle of your lane.

No, I’m not making this up. Today, traffic was backed up by a rouge herd of goats and sheep. Apparently, some dumbass in a tractor trailer rear-ended another tractor trailer carrying 160 goats and sheep.

The predicable result: 90 goats roaming around the turnpike, 70 animals dead.

A Goat

You know, it would be nice if we could put all the tractor trailers on thier own roads….
We could even connect a whole bunch of trailers together and pull it with a single tractor…
That would save gas and labor costs!
Since the weight of tractor trailors always ruins the pavement, maybe we should make the roads out of metal….
Well, metal is expensive, so just put it under where the tires go….
We’ll call the metal parts ‘rails’…
A road made out of rails to move freight!
It’s genius!

I think I’ll call my new invention

The RailRoad

I’m astonished that no one thought of this before me…