Yakkity Yak

“I am the Susquehanna, thine river. Thou shalt not paddle strange rivers before me.”Thus spake the Susquehanna. But Bonius did not heed her commandment, and indeed he did paddle a kayak upon the Wisconsin river not a week prior.
On the water
Our Heros Depart
Engorged she was, and filled with wrath from a full day’s rain, when Bonius and Klinutus arrived upon her shores. Our heros did boldly place thier kayaks upon her and set forth upon thier journey. Into the fog and rain, they set out in search of adventures, sea-monsters, and big-tittie mermaids.

Ruins
Long-abandoned Masonry

They came upon the ruins of a great civilization, and found a magical land inhabited by glowing white ducks. These were the guardians of the mysteries of the White Deer Hole Creek.

The ducks did quack a strange incantation, which sapped Bonius of all his strength, whereupon he drifted downstream, into the main channel.

A Magical Land
Magical Land

The Guardians
Guardian Ducks

In the fullness of time, came our heros upon the mouth of the White Deer Creek, where the water was swirling and burbling. Bonius turned his kayak into the current and strove to paddle up the creek. The river did spin Bonius around backwards and did speak softly “This is not the way, my child. Turn thee around and paddle the gentler waters in the main channel.”

“I am a great and terrible kayaker” Bonius boasted, “I do not fear thine foolish class I rapids! Bonius called upon Lord Odin, who filled Bonius with the rage of Berserkergang. Bonius didst paddle with a great ferocity upon the snarly rapids.

Lo, but the river did make use of her deep and mysterious magic, and did invert The Order of Things. Whereas Bonius sat at first upon the kayak and the kayak upon the water, now sat the kayak upon Bonius and the water upon them both.

This sucked greatly. Wet and very cold was the water, cold and very wet was Bonius.

On the water
Berserkergang!

Thereby was the reckless pride of Bonius greatly reduced. Bonius paddled meekly for the remainder of the day and did not tempt the wrath of the mighty Susquehanna further.

Bone's Boat
Bone’s Boat