White Bird will knowThere are many turtles in the lake, and it is hard to figure out which one is the King. I asked the white bird, but she just flew away.
I asked the ducks. They told me that they would get into trouble for telling me, and that I should ask the goose.
It took a long time to paddle over to where the geese were hanging out. I asked them if they knew where I could find the Turtle King, but (being French Canadian) would only answer me in French, which I do not speak anyways. They pointed to a rock sticking out of the water. It was completely covered in turtles.
As I paddled up, all the turtles jumped into the water and swam away, except for one turtle. He must be the Turtle King! I asked him “Are you the Turtle King?” “All day long, I have been seeking out the Turtle King in order to ask his advice.”
The turtle looked at me and sighed. “The Turtle Nation is not a monarchy, we are an anarcho-syndicalist commune. There is no such thing as a Turtle King, dumbass.”
Discouraged, I paddled back to the car. I will have to seek wisdom elsewhere.