When I am evangelizing bicycle commuting, I usually point at my beer belly and tell people that cycling isn’t that hard, because even I can do it, and I’m a fatass.

Today, one of my co-workers tried to ride in to work, 11 miles from the East Shore. He’s a fairly young guy, skinny, plays soccer, etc.

He had to call someone to pick him up after 7 miles. Legs turned to jello, or somesuch.

Tonight, Girtong2 and I did about 9 miles of the LVRT, before retiring to the pub to have beers and discuss the meaning of the universe.
While we were riding, Gritong2 had to ask me to slow down. Girtong2 runs 5ks races and shit.

Maybe I’m a liar when I point at my belly and say you don’t have to be “in shape” to ride a bike. I’m “in shape.” My shape is spherical, but it seems to work for me.

Today: 9 miles
May: 201.5 miles
2007: 490.5 miles
Beer calories: 1066.972

10 miles and lots of rabbits

Brandi and I did a nice 10 mile ride on the CVRT tonight. Then we had a picnic at the Newville trailhead.

The new trail head at Newville is really nice. They have a nice bathroom and some shaded picnic tables with bar-b-que grills and the whole shebang.

We saw a few squirrels, a red fox, a chipmunk, and more bunnies than we could count.


The scenery was rather nice, too.

Today: 10 miles
May: 192.5 miles
2007: 481.5 miles
Zombie Brains: 1066.972


“Father, give me the Bull of Heaven,
so he can kill Gilgamesh in his dwelling.
If you do not give me the Bull of Heaven,
I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
and will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!”

— Ishtar to Anu, Epic of Gilgamesh

In the movies, zombie go around moaning that they want to eat your brains. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’m 99% convinced that real-life zombies would not posses the language skills necessary to ask for their preferred food by name.

A zombie

Zombies are nonverbal

Actually, I very much doubt that brain tissue is any more nutritious than muscle, skin, or subcutaneous fat. Besides, brains are much harder to get at, being encased in a bony skull.

In summary, zombies do not eat brains, and even if they did, they couldn’t say so.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled bicycle blog.

Shitty Ride

I had to work for most of this holiday weekend, but I managed to get a ride in today. I wasn’t much in the mood to deal with the (likely intoxicated) holiday traffic, so I went to the Conewago Trail.

This trail used to be 5 miles of single track until it became the LVRT, when it got all nice and smooth. It looks like they only recently completed resurfacing the lower 3 miles of it. I saw full-blown skinny tyre roadies on it today.

It looks like the trail got seriously heavy use this weekend. It was covered in shit.

Dog shit, horse shit, all sorts of shit, all over the place.

WTF? Pick up after your dog and keep your horse on the horse side of the trail. Nobody wants to walk or ride through a sewer.

Other than the poop, it was a nice ride.

I usually ride past the Colebrook Twin Kiss ice cream place, but it was hot today, so I stopped for some ice cream. I recommend the maple walnut sundae.

It gave me a much needed sugar rush so I didn’t much mind dodging poop on the way back to the car.

Brandi is out of town this weekend visiting relatives, and she took the camera, so no pictures for this ride. Not that I’d really post poop pictures anyhow.

Today: 25 miles
May: 182.5 miles
2007: 471.5 miles
Gravometric Radiation: 1066.972 becquerels

Monkey Coming Soon

The guys at the LBS apparently had some shipping mix-ups with a few components, but they assure me my karate monkey will be ready to roll “by the end of the week.”

I’m hoping that means tomorrow.

Depending on how much this ends up costing, I think we’re going to convert Brandi’s broken Mixte to a Sturmey-Archer 3-speed. She needs a new wheel in any event, and she’s not overly fond of the dérailleurs.

Today: 14 miles
May: 157.5 miles
2007: 446.5 miles
Gravometric Radiation: 1066.972 becquerels

Flaming Buttocks of Doom

I charged up my headlight and got some miles in after dinner. I made some adjustments to the Trek based on feedback from my butt during the ramble. I lowered the bars a touch to try to get better weight distribution.

It helped, but now I think I need to nose the saddle down a bit…

Today: 16 miles
May: 143.5 miles
2007: 432.5 miles
Gravometric Radiation: 1066.972 becquerels

Ramble Report

I’m generally anti-social, misanthropic, and flatulent, so I usually ride my bike all by myself. Yesterday, however, I did my first-ever “group ride.” It was actually very nice to have people to talk to along the way. I got to meet the people from ridelugged and empathytest blogs. I have now actually met 25% of the people in my blogroll.

At a Rest Stop
At a Rest Stop

The terrain was hillier than what I’m used to, and the pace was a bit faster than I usually ride, but I had a lot of fun. The scenery was magnificent. I think we rode past every kind of barnyard animal imaginable, except for pigs. I don’t know why there weren’t any pigs. We did see sheep and goats and cows and chickens and horses and ducks and barn cats, and one very silly dog who chased me off his property.


As I was pushing my bike up a particularly steep section I saw two deer that everyone else missed because they were too busy grunting up the hill. It pays to walk sometimes.

A Horse
I think he thought I had an apple for him (I didn’t)

A bit before the halfway point, we stopped off at a picnic area along the road to have our PB&J sandwiches, some cookies, and some wine. It felt very fancy and French.

The lineup of bicycles

After we were done riding, we gorged ourselves on bar-be-que and Beer.

And then we played croquet.

Drunken Croquet
Drunken Croquet

I could feel my life-force fading away, and I had to decide whether to camp out, or try to make it home to my own bed. I decided to go home. Today, I’m sunburnt, my legs are stiff, and my butt is sore, but I’m really glad I went.

I’m really surprised more people didn’t show up. The scenery was totally worth the sweating to see it.

More cows

I survived

Bikes and shit

Bikes and stuff

I made it. It was about as difficult as I expected, maybe a touch more so.
I’ll write more about it tomorrow, when I’m not delirious.

Today: 44 miles
May: 127.5 miles
2007: 416.5 miles
Gravometric Radiation: 1066.972 becquerels

Badass Videos

Jim posted up some nice videos about taking the train out of London to go cycling in the countryside outside of Ruby, Warwickshire.

If the narration is to be believed, Rugby is an idyllic bicycle utopia.

Rugby isn’t one of those towns that sprawls a rash of semi-detached villas over the face of the land. It still keeps within its bounds; snug, compact,
with respect for the country out of which it has grown.

I wonder if it’s still like that in Rugby.

Into the peaceful countryside, where tree-lined lanes welcome these friendly processions that bring no exhaust smoke, no petrol fumes, and no racket or blaring of horns.

Well Fuck me running. I want to go!

…Only the humming of tires and the talk that arises between solicitor and carpenter, teacher and typesetter, electrician and radiographer. Between people of all ages, ranks and station, who rediscover their common humanity in finding countryside, exercise, and companionship – all in one.

Now, I’m really looking forward to the ramble! Woo Hoo!

Maybe next year, I’ll come out for the 3-speed tour.

New Commuter / Ramble

On my ride home this afternoon, another cyclist rode up alongside me to shoot the breeze. He said he saw me riding the other way this morning and I didn’t wave.

Shit. I’m one of those assholes who doesn’t wave… I never even saw him.

Anyhow, this guy is going to start commuting tomorrow. He’s got the exact opposite commute that I do, so I imagine I’ll have a few more opportunities to wave at him.

I’m actually going to skip tomorrow’s commute, so I can save my legs for the ramble. This will be the longest ride I’ve ever done, and I’ll need all my strength.

I still have an empty tray on my roof rack if anyone wants to carpool. I’ll probably be pulling of Mechanicsburg around 6:30.

This afternoon: 7.5 miles
May: 83.5 miles
2007: 372.5 miles