Books: The Zen of Zombie

I found this book on the bargain table at the bookstore just after Halloween. The gimmick is that it’s a self-help book which will teach you how to be a total bad-ass just like a zombie.

The Zen of Zombie

As most of you already know, zombies posses many enviable qualities:

  • Zombies know what they want (brains)
  • Zombies are not racist (will eat black brains as readily as white)
  • Zombies are above bribery (will eat rich and poor brains)
  • Zombies are relentless, will endure gunshots and keep on coming for your brains
  • Zombies do not succumb to in-fighting with other zombies
  • etc…

Anyhow, the book presents several exercises you can undertake to become more zombie-like, with the idea that someday, if you are lucky enough, you will be “reborn” as a zombie in the next life.

I’m pretty sure the book is meant to be funny, but some of the arguments are so well made, that you might actually mistake it for a real self-help book.

It’s pretty funny, and since some of the self-help advise isn’t half-bad, I give The Zen of Zombie 3 Jihadis out of 5.

3 Jihadis out of 5

6 months without meat

I stopped eating meat 6 months ago. I thought it was going to be all hard like quitting smoking, but it wasn’t.

It’s actually no big deal.

When people find out I’m vegetarian they say weird stuff like “but you still eat fish though, right?”

And then I say something like “No, fish are not vegetables.”

And then they look at me as if I’m the weirdo.

People are strange.

Hiking: Tuscarora Trail – Cowpens Road to PA233

After hiking the Pinchot Trail Saturday, I spent the very next day on the Tuscarora Trail with Sophie the Wonder Dog, and her Human concierge.

Sophie the Adventure Dog!

Manly Mountain Man

We hiked about 9 miles through icy wind and snow squalls, then we passed a hunting cabin where some classy fellows decorated the trees with women’s undergarments.

A bra in the trees

25 miles down, 773 to go!

Hiking: Pinchot Trail – North Loop

Saturday, Apertome and I hiked the north loop of the Pinchot Trail.

We had some wet weather to contend with, which afforded me the opportunity to try out my new poncho.

We had pretty miserable conditions, but the poncho kept me dry, except for my legs, which got thoroughly soaked in an outright downpour near the end of the hike.

I foolishly packed my camera down in the bottom of my pack, so I didn’t get any pictures, but Apertome did.

I’m particularly pleased with the smart fashion statement the poncho makes in the woods. Very “Odhinnic-Wanderer chic,” with just a hint of un-dead superhero.

Wanderer
Odhinn the Wanderer
Wind
Spawn

Fashion aside, it was a very nice hike despite the weather. It put me 10 miles closer to the State Forest Hiking Award. 14 miles down, 784 to go!

Apertome has posted a nice write up of the day on his blog. I don’t think there’s much I could add to his account.

Mein Trockenbrenstoff-Kocher ist Hier!

Look what arrived in the mail today. According to the customs declaration, it’s a key-chain from Hong Kong.

Customs Declaration

It wasn’t a key-chain at all, it’s a Trockenbrenstoff-Kocher!!

Trockenbrenstoff-Kocker

The kitchen scale says it weighs 3/8 of an ounce. That rocks!

Three Eighths of an ounce

The old-school esbit “trench heater” type stove weighs 3-1/8 ounces.

Old School Esbit

“Big Deal,” you say, “that’s only saving you 2.75 ounces!”

Well, that means I can bring along a whole extra pack of Ramen Noodles, smartass!

Hiking: Rocky Knob Trail

This morning, I donned my spiffiest hiking hat, and began my effort to hike all 798 miles of the State Forest Hiking Trails System.

I hiked the Rocky Knob Trail in the Michaux State Forest.

Me at the Trailhead

The trail is a fairly easy 4 mile loop. There’s only one real climb, and you are rewarded for your labor with a nice view.

If you look carefully, you will notice that the leaves are falling here in Pennsylvania.

View

I took my GPS along, and now the Rocky Knob Trail is in OpenStreetMap.

OpenStreetMap of Rocky Knob Trail

4 miles down, 794 left to go before I get my ceremonial walking stick.

Election

Pennsylvania

Brandi and I were voters #60 and #61 this morning.

In other news:
Holy Shit, Elk County!!!! Those are some progressive Elks up there!

Great Minds Think Alike

Evidently, if you invite a bunch of heathens to a Halloween party, they will all come dressed as clergy…

Fake Clergy

We all prayed really hard, and God send us and Angel!

Captain Morgan

Captain Morgan descended from the heavens, and there was much rejoicing.

Drunken Clergy