Monster Trucks and Monkey Nuts

So, I thought maybe I’d run some nice fat rubber on the Karate Monkey. Monster-Truck tires. Because why not.

When I had the LBS build up the monkey originally, they told me not to go bigger than 2.1″ tires because of the straddle wire on the v-brakes. I’d catch a knob on the straddle wire, go over the bars, get a concussion, sue, etc.


So, I ordered a Maxxis Ardent 29 x 2.4 tire.

I tried to mount it up on the Monkey tonight. I was so excited. It cleared the straddle cable with a little room for mud.


The LBS was full of crap. Everything is gonna be fine!

It also cleared the front derailer clamp, no problem (I’m using Monkey Nuts


So, everything’s groovey, spinning, I’m thinking I’ll order another 2.4″ tire for the front, and then to rip up some muddy trails. Because I’m all bad-ass like that. (not really).

Then, I start fiddling with the gears.

Well, Shit.

When the front derailleur is in the low gear, the cage rubs the knobs on the tire. bad.


So, I thinks to myself, I’ll run TWO sets of money nuts! That’ll fix ‘er!

Nope. Even all the way in the back of the drop outs, it still rubs the front derailleur cage.

So, it looks like I’m out of luck. I guess I’ll move this tire to the front, lick my wounds, and consider my options for the rear.

2012 in review, New Year Resolutions, etc.

So, I made some new year’s resolutions last year.

How did I do?

Resolution Outcome
Lose 70 pounds Fail
Ride 1000 miles Success!
Ride a Metric Century Fail


Lard Ass Log

I am starting 2013 14.2 pounds lighter than I started 2012. That’s progress, I suppose, but not much.

I logged 1054.29 miles in 2012:


  • Cycling: 1004.22
  • Hiking: 11.67
  • Kayaking: 38.4

Mileage Report

I almost didn’t make it to 1000 miles for the year. I hardly rode at all this summer. It was hotter than blue blazes, and I was putting in a lot of hours at work. Nevertheless, I rallied in December, and put in 229 miles; my second highest-mileage month ever. The Sloth and I put in a gruelling 26-miler on New Year’s eve to push me over the 1000 mile mark.

Metric Century:

I didn’t do any long rides. At all. In fact, yesterday’s 26-miler was my longest ride all year.

2013 Resolutions

Yes, resolutions are bullshit. I’m making some anyhow.


  • Minimun of 1500 miles.
  • No single month with less than 100 miles.


  • Loose at least 52 pounds
  • One pound per week shouldn’t be that hard.
  • As a motivational aid, I concocted a visualization of the ultimate objective. It may take more than 52 pounds to get here, but this would be a nice end-result.

Metric Century

62 miles. I know of people in not-much-better shape than me who do these regularly. I just need to get off my arse and do it.

That’s it. 3 resolutions. Lose 52 pounds, ride 1500 miles, and do a metric.

Happy New Year to anyone who still reads this blog.